Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Roof Golf & the Manhole Frisbee


My Name is Earl Hollydale
My name is Speedy, and I have done things I am not proud of. Yeah, I was havin fun, but oblivious to some of the disasters I was leaving behind. I reckon I forgot some too.



" I decided to make a list, a list of my errors in judgement, and those that I have done wrong. By analyzing it ... maybe I can make amends. Maybe krazy karma might finally prove to be in my favor "


In 1985 I happened to come across some dynamite. Most people would just let it be, or hand it over to the authorities. I decided to put in in the sewer and light the fuse. I expected the manhole cover to pop up, and manhole frisbeesee some smoke. That's not what happened. The entire street and cars were damaged, and the water main broke. My block was in chaos for weeks. I heard the stress of it all may have even caused the Freemans to divorce.


1986 was a banner year. I stole took my girlfriends car for a joyride. No, not like a normal joyride, but one bent one it's destruction. Me and a friend decided to find out just what it took to render a vehicle un-drivable. First was the corn field, followed by the shopping mall lot. Jumping curbs, high speed collisions with carts and rails, and lots of brake stands. One run ended next to another car with a woman looking at us in disgust. I rolled down the window and asked for directions to Canada - then sped away. The fire hydrant was the last and final crushing blow. The car jumped up wildly and the front axle broke. With water spraying up everywhere, we had a good laugh and walked away. My girlfriend asked me if I had seen her car later that day, and I said "nope".


drunk toast worst wedding toast of all times1989: At a wedding dance, I made the most hideous drunk toast the world has ever known. I had some inside information about the bride, and we were never on very good terms. I let it all hang out, and afterwards there was "dead silence" ... people were in shock. I grabbed another drink and did a moonwalk across the dance floor.


1993 was a pivotal year in my life. I was traveling more, meeting lots of people, and of course having a little too much fun all the time. Not really having responsibilities, or any family, I was the guy to call for "whatever". One woman in particular made that mistake. Janelle was the one person I knew that really made something of herself - with a good job and a really nice home. She was going out of town on a business trip, so the offer was made for me to house-sit and take care of the dog. You probably can guess I was out at the club inviting everyone over for an after party Friday night. In retrospect, it's a good thing the cops showed up when they did, because there might not have been anything left of the place.


2002 I headed out West to Las Vegas. Plans were in the making for this trip for some time, and people flew in from all parts of the country. It all started off pretty sedate, until after playing high stakes poker when we went up to the roof of the casino to look at the strip. There was no security, there were no cameras, and this meant one thing ... golf. I ran back to the room and grabbed my clubs.
As we all took turns teeing off out into the night, the dangerous nature of our shots never seemed to enter any one's mind. That was until I hit one of the large neon signs and it burst into flame. The next day I read in the paper how hundreds of people had to evacuate out in the street for hours.

Roof Golf





That's all for my entries for tonight, I'll be back later to add more.
Maybe others will look back and share some of there own "bad judgement calls" in comments.
I'll add them here too



ps: these stories were all "mostly untrue"