Hello, my name is Mabel Velveeta. I am related to Speedcat, and he came to me with an idea involving my own opinions. I will be an "Advisor" here .... answering with the best of my ability the quandaries posed from some of the folks Speedy knows. You can ask me a question as well, and I will get back to you via this blog.From "Eddie": My wife says that I am lazy, and will never stop nagging me. What can I do?
... Well Eddie, she probably says these things because they are true. Get up off your duff and stop being such a stick in the mud. Try some vitamin water to get the balls rolling.
From Cousin "Joy": The men at work keep looking at my bosom, especially when I wear a low cut dress. Should I confront them?
... Joy, men are dogs, and will always pee on a tree. If you want them to stop glaring at your chest, quit hanging it out there like a billboard for land sakes!
From "Jack W": What is the key to living a long happy life?
... Ha! Well if I knew that, I would be one smart cookie, now wouldn't I? Here are my own secrets to help further one's prosperity. !. Don't smoke 2. Find someone you love to be with 3. Walk every day 4. Take a shot of whiskey before bed, and sleep on your side 5. Knitting
From "Betty": How can I become a better lover?
... Oh gosh! Try reading some Harlequin Romance Novels. They will get your
motor started. Sometimes I will even venture to leave the hall light on.From "Chuck": I am in the market for a new TV. Any suggestions?
For heavens sake - what do I know about that? I have a Curtis Mathis Console, and it has worked fine for so many years. I polish it twice a week so the plants do not leave marks on the top. My cat "Blanket" loves to sleep on it when I watch my game shows in the morning.
Like to hear your questions answered here by my Aunt Mabel? Fire away in a comment! You will get a link and a response right here on this post.
Thanks Mabel ... and GREAT JOB!!!!!
