Valentines ... love it or hate it, here it comes. Personally, I hate the "expectation" type holiday. Nobody can tell me to get all lovie dovie. Of course, their are some out there who must produce on this day, or pay for it later. Here is my guide to goodie lovin` for the novice and whipped ball and chainers.
First off, if you are shallow and have a big pocketbook, just by a ton of roses and gold earrings. Women claim to want love and compassion, but there is not one alive that will not melt like butter on a hot-plate when finding a room full of roses. This is in their genetic code.
Second, for all the new bee lovers that think life is a romance fest of bliss, here are some pointers to keep in your pocket until reality sets in!
1. Speak softly, and look into your woman's eyes. Tell her, "I never knew I could be so happy, my whole life has changed for the better because you are in it".
2. Give her a big hug and say, "I could hold you forever"
3. Take the day off work, and go to all of her favorite places. Pretend to be really captivated and enthusiastic!!!
Of course, the gushy sweet letter or poem is always a real winner. Write it with so much compassion that you fear dying of embarrassment if the guys at work found it.
DO ADD THESE STATEMENTS
I love you
You are so beautiful
Thank you
Be my Valentine
... for the most wonderful woman in the world
DO NOT ADD THESE STATEMENTS
You are as hot as Paris Hilton
I will do the same if we are together next year
I always liked women that were kind of dirty
This gift certificate is good for 6 months
Glad you started wearing more make-up
Here's a suggestion!!
Your lips I kiss, and soar across the skiesEach day with you is brighter
The angels must have been on my shoulder
because it seems like heaven near you
This day is special ... I must be the luckiest man alive Valentines day is for lovers, thank God you are by my side
If I had one day to spend, and then leave this Earth ...
it would be holding you, my princess, my best friend, and my world
NOW ... tell me the ladies did not like that!! Not bad, especially because I wrote it to my monitor screen. Ohh my sweet computer, let me count the keys on your motherboard.
As my own personal Valentine's day gift, here is a romantic song for dancing after dinner, performed by yours truly. It is a sure fire way to really light some passionate sparks and heat up the night. You can even take a copy to your blog for use on February 14th.
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Good luck everyone, and Happy Valentines from SpeedyCat
