Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Mick The Joker's Animal Jokes Part 1

What has four legs and an arm?
A happy pit bull.

Why is a tree like a dog?
Because they both lose their bark when they die.

Did you hear about the cowboy who got himself a dachshund?
Everyone kept telling him to get a long, little doggie.

What is the difference between a rottweiler and a social worker?
It is easier to get your kids back from a rotweiler!

Did you hear about the new breed in pet shops?
They crossed a pit bull with a collie; it bites your leg off and goes for help.

How do you know if there is an elephant under the bed?
Your nose is touching the ceiling.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?
Elephino.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
Holes all over Australia.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.

Why did the elephant cross the road?
Chicken's day off.

Why do elephants have trunks?
Because they would look silly with glove compartments.

Why do elephants drink so much?
To try to forget.

How can you tell if an elephant is getting ready to charge?
He pull out his Diners' Club card.

What do you get when two giraffes collide?
A giraffic jam.

Why did the lion spit out the clown?
Because he tasted funny.

Why dd the skeleton run up the tree?
Because a dog was after its bones.