les in South America, when he comes across an ancient Mayan temple. The tourist is entranced by the temple, and asks the guide for details. To this, the guide states that archaeologists are carrying out excavations, and still finding great treasures. The tourist then queries how old the temple is."This temple is 1503 years old", replies the guide.
Impressed at this accurate dating, the tourist inquires as to how he gave this precise figure.
"Easy", replies the guide, "the archaeologists said the temple was 1500 years old, and that was three years ago"
A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the hairdresser who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there?
It's crowded & dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome.
So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking TWA," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"TWA?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late.
So, where are you staying in Rome?"
"We'll be at the downtown International Marriott."
"That’s ridiculous! That's the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're overpriced. So, what are you doing when you get there?"
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."
A month later, the man again came in for his regular haircut. The hairdresser asked him about his trip to Rome.
"It was wonderful," explained the man, "not only were we on time in one of TWA's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful 28 year old stewardess who waited on me hand and foot.
And the hotel-it was great! They'd just finished a $25 million remodeling job and now it's the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the presidential suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, as we were touring the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to personally meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be as kind as to step into his private room and wait the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down as he spoke a few words to me."
"Really?" asked the hairdresser. "What did he say?"
He said, "Where did you get the dumb haircut?
An American man, a Russian man, and an African man were all up in a hot-air balloon together. After a few minutes, the Russian man put his hand down through the clouds. "Aaah!" he said. "We're right over my homeland."
"How can you tell?" asked the American.
"I can feel the cold air." he replied.
A few hours later the African man put his hand through the clouds. "Aah we're right over my homeland." he said.
"How do you know that?" asked the Russian. "I can feel the heat of the desert."
Several more hours later the American put his hand through the clouds. "Aah, we're right over New York."
The Russian and the African were amazed. "How do you know all of that?" they exclaimed.
The American pulled his hand up. "My watch is missing."
