Did you hear about the farmer you ploughed his field with a steamroller ?
He wanted to grow mash potatoes!
What did the neurotic pig say to the farmer?
You take me for grunted.
When is a farmer like a magician?
When he turns his cow to pasture.
Why did the farmer call his pig "Ink"?
Because it was always running out of the pen.
What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?
Laughing stock.
How does a farmer count his cattle?
He uses a cowculator.
Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain?
He has got no beef.
A man is driving down South Western Highway to Bunbury, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Ah excuse me sir, but what are you doing?"The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize.""How?" asks the man, puzzled."Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize . . . to people who are out standing in their field."
