How do you piss off Winnie the Pooh?
By sticking your finger in his honey.
Due to a mixup on Grammy night, Madonna, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera are forced to share a private jet in order to arrive in time for the ceremony.
Once up in the air, Madonna pulls out a $1000 bill and says, "I'm going to throw this $1000 bill out the window and make someone down below very happy."
Not to be outdone, Britney ripped a $1000 bill in half and threw it out the window, saying, "Look, I just made two people really happy."
Not even noticing Britney's stupid move, Christina bragged, "Look, I'm going to throw 1000 $1 bills and make a lot more people a little happier."
At this point the pilot, who has overheard all this bragging and can't stand it anymore, comes out and says, "I think I'll throw all three of you out of this plane and make 250 million people happy."
Why did Beethoven kill his chicken?
It kept saying ''Bach, Bach, Bach...''
For the first time in many years, a an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. Handing the attendant $1.50, he couldn't help but comment, "The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 15 cents.""Well, sir," the attendant replied with a grin, "You're really going to enjoy yourself. We have sound now."
What''s the difference between Michael Jackson and Casper?
One is pale and scares kids and the other is a friendly ghost.
What is Dracula's favourite Green Day song?
Boulevard of Broken Screams!
What is a cat's favourite Green Day song?
Jesus Of Supurrbia (Supburbia)!
What is a cat's favourite Pete Murray song?
Op-purr-tunity!
Which song by Hunters & Collectors is about very weak people?
Holy Frail (Holy Grail)!
What is a ghost's favourite Queen song?
Boo-hemian Rhapsody!
What is a cow's favourite rock band?
The Moo Fighters! (Foo Fighters)
What is the favourite music group of green bread?
Moldplay! (Coldplay)
