Pavarotti Goes To Heaven

When the late opera star Luciano Pavarotti went to heaven, St. Peter was so happy to see hom when he arrived at the pearly gates.
"Hello, Luciano! I'm so pleased to see you! Please come in! Squeeze through!" said St Peter.
But Pavarotti replied, "St. Peter, before I go in, here is a letter from the Pope for you." Please read it."
He gave St. Peter the envelope, he opened it, and it read:

Dear St. Peter,
I hope everything is going well up there in Heaven and here is that tenor I owe you.
Yours sincerely, Pope Benedict XVI

AFL Season Cancelled

It is likely that the AFL competition will have to be cancelled. Under the new Anti Terrorism Laws the Bombers are banned, the new IR legislation rules out the Dockers and the asian bird flu epidemic is wrecking havoc with the Crows, Eagles, Hawks, Magpies and Swans.
Any transfers to the Cats, Lions, Dogs and Tigers must now be quarantined for at least 12 months. Religious vilification laws mean that no one can legally barrack for the Demons or the Saints.